


I try to write you a love song, but it comes out a lament

by ottoglow



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, spellmoms, they are soft!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-23 02:44:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23504473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ottoglow/pseuds/ottoglow
Summary: How could anybody have you and lose you and not lose their minds too?The story of how Zelda lost Diana, not once, but twice.
Relationships: Diana Spellman/Zelda Spellman
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

Zelda Spellman was absolutely swamped. Between teaching her classes at the academy, holding up her family’s image now that Edward was rising through the ranks of the Church of Night, and handling the intake of fresh bodies at the mortuary, Zelda thought she couldn’t be stretched any thinner. She was glad they took in Ambrose all those years ago, even if she initially opposed the idea. (She didn’t want an excommunicated criminal living in their house, but Edward and Hilda eventually brought her around. It turned out that she would come to love Ambrose just as much as the rest of her relatives. He was family, after all.) She didn’t know what she would do if she didn’t have Ambrose around to perform the autopsies. It used to be her job, and it wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy it, but once she was asked to teach at the academy, she simply didn’t have the time. Hilda still handled the customer service side of things, which was always better suited to her personality. Zelda’s blunt attitude and intimidating presence wasn’t always the best for grieving mortals. Still, there was a lot of business to be done besides coddling mortals and cutting open cadavers, and that was all left to Zelda. Maybe it was just the fact that humans simply had a shorter lifespan than witches, but it felt like every time they put a body in the ground, two more came knocking at the door.

So, after an exhausting morning at the academy in which none of her students could recall a basic summoning spell, and after spending all afternoon on the phone with the florist booking flowers for the next five funerals, Zelda was relieved when she was finally able to sit down at the kitchen table with the day’s newspaper and a cigarette. She hadn’t been sitting down for more than five minutes when she heard Hilda curse under her breath.

“Bloody hell,” she murmured to herself, “I’ve forgot the onions for the stew.” Hilda looked up and around, scanning the kitchen with the hope that she hadn’t actually forgotten to buy the onions, just simply misplaced them. That didn’t seem to be the case.

“Zelds?”

“Hm,” Zelda hummed, not even bothering to look up from her newspaper.

“I know you’ve only just sat down, but would you mind doing me a favor and running down to the farmer’s market to pick up some onions?”

Zelda folded her newspaper and stared Hilda down with the bitchiest stare she could manage. It took all of her remaining resolve not to come across the table and kill Hilda right then and there.

“Honestly Hilda, do I have to do everything in this house? Why can’t you just go and dig some up in the garden?”

“They aren’t in season right now,” Hilda replied softly, wincing and bracing herself for Zelda’s reaction. She thought Zelda would have known that, but herbology was always the one subject in which Hilda had surpassed Zelda.

“Surely the stew will be alright without them, it’s just one ingredient,” Zelda retorted, going back to her newspaper. Hilda drew a deep breath and continued,

“They’re one of the main ingredients, Zelds,” Hilda paused for a moment to think, mentioning the one thing that she knew would get Zelda to break, “and I’m cooking this as a surprise for Edward. It’s his favorite, and today is the one year anniversary of his appointment to Unholy Bishop.”

Zelda took a long drag of her cigarette. _Surely it hadn’t already been a year?_ Hilda was better at keeping track of those sorts of things, but Zelda felt a twang of guilt in her stomach at not remembering. Still, she wasn’t going to give in to Hilda just to go get some damn onions.

“And why can’t you go to the farmer’s market yourself?” Zelda questioned, exhaling a large plume of smoke.

“I have to be here to stir the stew, and the ingredients have to be added in at precise times. Please Zelds, the market closes in an hour,” Hilda pleaded with her sister. Zelda considered telling Hilda that she would keep track of the stew while Hilda ran to the market, but they both knew Zelda was a horrid cook, something neither of them would dare say out loud. Zelda contemplated her options for a moment, as Hilda nervously awaited Zelda’s next response. Hilda knew she would be spending the night in the Cain pit if she pushed Zelda any further.

“Fine,” Zelda conceded, slamming her newspaper down on the table. “But don’t think I’m doing this for you. I’m only doing this for Edward. He deserves something nice to celebrate his success.” Zelda wasn’t lying, but she also thought it might be nice to get out of the house for a little while to clear her head. Hilda sighed a sigh of relief and beamed back at her.

“Thank you, Zelds, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“You better,” Zelda stated harshly as she walked over to grab the car keys from their hook above the counter. As she headed for the door, she turned around and shot Hilda a glare. “And don’t expect anymore favors from me for the rest of the decade.”

Hilda thought it best not to push her luck by telling Zelda that they were out of dish soap, too.

* * *

By the time Zelda arrived, the farmer’s market was nearly empty, which made sense, considering it was a Friday and they were set to close in half an hour. On the one hand, she preferred it this way, as she only wished to interact with mortals when absolutely necessary. But on the other hand, Zelda wouldn’t be surprised if she weren’t even able to find the onions this late in the day. That would be just her luck, to drive all the way here to complete some silly errand for Hilda only to turn back up at the mortuary empty-handed. 

Luckily, after several minutes of weaving through the stalls, she finally spotted some onions sitting in their display. _Praise Satan_ , she thought to herself. She walked over to the display and began putting onions in her basket, grabbing a few more than probably necessary in case Hilda dared to complain that she didn’t get enough. As she went to turn around and head to the check out, she bumped shoulders with a woman and dropped her basket, sending onions tumbling out all over the floor.

“Satan in hell,” she cursed, perhaps a bit too loudly considering the setting. She simply ignored the woman and bent down to begin picking up the contents of her basket. The woman must not have heard her, as she bent down across from her and began picking up onions as well.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, “here, let me help you.”

“That won’t be necessary, I can handle it myself, thank you.” Zelda said. 

“No really, it was my fault, I can help. Here,” the woman said, placing the last fallen onion back into the basket. Zelda finally looked up at her, catching her gaze. The woman stared back at her with deep blue eyes, her face framed with blonde curls. Zelda stared at her for a little longer than what was considered polite before standing up and brushing the dust off her dress. _Damn,_ she thought _, I’ll have to get this dry cleaned_. Maybe she would make Hilda clean it for her, considering it was all her fault that Zelda was here in the first place. The woman stood up with her, offering a hand as a greeting.

“Diana.” She said. Zelda slowly reached out and shook her hand.

“Zelda.” 

“Have I seen you here before? You look awfully familiar,” Diana questioned.

“Highly unlikely,” Zelda chuckled, “I usually send my sister out to do these types of things.”

“And your sister’s name is?” Diana questioned her once again. _Damn if this woman isn’t nosy._

“Hilda,” Zelda responded, then added after the woman gave her a quizzical look, “Spellman. My sister and I run the — “

“The mortuary.” Diana cut her off. “That’s where I know you from, you held my uncle’s funeral a few years back.”

“Perhaps we did. Now if you will excuse me, I should be getting home.” Zelda said and began to walk away, not wishing to engage in any more small talk with the mortal.

“Wait,” the woman stopped her, and Zelda turned around slowly, giving her a look that screamed “ _What more could you possibly want?”_

“Let me pay for you, it’s the least I can do.” Zelda was slightly stunned at the woman’s offer, not knowing mortals to be very kind by nature. She shut her down quickly.

“I can pay for my own things, thank you. Now, please, if you will let me go, I have important things to tend to at home.” Important things being a cigarette and a glass of whiskey. She turned again to leave.

“Can I at least have you over for a cup of tea?” Diana said to her back. Zelda turned herself around once again, taken aback by the woman’s forwardness. She would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t find it a tiny bit attractive. The woman herself wasn’t hard on the eyes, either.

“Perhaps another time. I really must be going.” Zelda said and added with the slightest smirk, “You know how to find me.”

* * *

That night at dinner, as Hilda and Edward discussed his career in the Church, Edward caught Zelda smiling to herself, seemingly in a world of her own. She was unable to take her mind off of her earlier encounter at the market.

“Enjoying the stew, Zelda?” Edward asked teasingly.

“Oh yes, very much so,” Zelda replied, matching Edwards playful tone, “you know, I picked out the onions myself.”

“Oh is that so? Hilda?” Edward turned to his younger sister. Hilda rolled her eyes at her siblings, always the ones to tease.

“Yes, she did, but you’re both forgetting that I made the bloody stew.” 

“And what a delicious stew it is.” Zelda said, smirking back at Edward. He could always read Zelda like a book, and sometimes she hated him for it. She knew she would be getting interrogated by him later. Zelda never smiled like that because of stew.

Still, Zelda couldn’t help letting her mind wander back to the woman at the farmer’s market. _Diana_ , she thought to herself. Zelda only interacted with mortals for what she considered necessities, things like business, shopping, and well, sex. Sex was always a necessity, and having one night stands with everyone in the coven tended to get messy. It had been far too long since she was able to engage in such carnal pleasures, with everything else going on in her life.

 _Diana,_ she thought again and smiled, unable to hide her inner thoughts in her outward expression. The woman was beautiful, no doubt. And her confidence made her all the more alluring.

 _Diana._ If the woman came calling for tea, perhaps Zelda would have to take her up on her offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You can find me on twitter @ottoglow.
> 
> Title and summary are from the song Los Ageless by St. Vincent.
> 
> Let me know if you think I should keep writing! This is my first real attempt at writing fanfic, so any and all feedback is appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! I thought I would have this chapter up sooner, but well, here we are.

For the next week, Zelda answered the phone at the mortuary just a bit too excitedly. By the time Friday came around, she had all but given up hope that the mortal woman would call. She contemplated seeking out the woman herself, but considering the woman had only given her first name, it would be quite hard to find her in the phone book. It would be silly to do so anyway. Zelda had convinced herself that it would be absurd to seek out the attention of some mortal woman she met briefly at the farmer’s market. As a witch, it was beneath her. She wouldn’t risk compromising her dignity in such a way.

But, when the phone rang on Friday afternoon and Zelda heard the other woman’s voice on the line, the walls of excuses she had built up came crumbling down.

“Spellman Sisters’ Mortuary, this is Zelda speaking.”

“Zelda! Hi, um, it’s Diana.”

“Diana…?” Zelda questioned, acting like she hadn’t waited by the phone all week waiting for the woman to call.

“Diana Sawyer. We met last week at the farmer’s market.” she said, sort of embarrassed, thinking that the other woman had forgotten all about her.

“Oh yes, Diana. I remember now. Have you called to invite me to tea?” 

“Uh, yes, actually. How does tomorrow sound? 10 o’clock?” 

Zelda quickly flipped through her schedule in her mind, hoping she was free. There was a service scheduled for tomorrow morning in the parlor, but it was routine enough. Zelda deserved a break from all the time she had been spending working. She could trust Hilda and Ambrose to take care of things. Probably.

“That sounds wonderful.”

“Perfect.” Diana proceeded to give Zelda the directions to her apartment while Zelda scribbled them down on a notepad they kept by the phone.

“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Diana said.

“I suppose you will.” Zelda replied. She was trying to think of something else to say when she heard Diana hang up the phone. She smiled to herself and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a pack of cigarettes from the counter. She put one in her holder and lit it with the snap of her fingers. As she took a drag of the cigarette and leaned back against the counter, she was already planning what she would wear tomorrow.

* * *

The next morning Zelda came downstairs to find Hilda cooking breakfast and Ambrose sitting at the table, drinking a cup of tea and pouring over some book on demonology. She never knew what that boy was up to, but seeing as he was confined to the Spellman property, she didn’t let it worry her too much. Edward had already left for some meeting at the academy, spending most of his time there since his most recent appointment.

“Morning!” Hilda greeted her, turning around from the stove with a smile on her face.

“Morning Auntie.” Ambrose said, still half asleep in his robe. 

“Blessed morning to the both of you.” Zelda said as she sat down at the table with her newspaper. “Ambrose, I’m going to need you to get dressed. We have a service at 10:00 today, remember?”

“Yes, but I thought you and Auntie Hilda were taking care of this one. Today was supposed to be my day off. And, might I add that you aren’t dressed appropriately, either.” Ambrose said. Zelda wore a leopard print blouse and a tight black pencil skirt that could hardly be considered appropriate for a funeral.

“Yes, but there has been a change of plans. Well, for me anyway.”

Ambrose and Hilda eyed each other suspiciously, neither of them knowing what the woman was on about.

“I will be going out, so I need you two to hold down the fort. I trust you two can take care of the service without burning the house down.” She said sarcastically, but there was just a hint of truth behind her statement. Every once and a while Hilda and Ambrose would get up to some kind of mischief or another behind Zelda’s back. The last time they got up to something she caught them in the kitchen trying to mix up a serum to change Ambrose’s eye color. If she hadn’t caught them, the boy probably would have gone blind.

“And where will you be going off to?” Ambrose asked, slightly miffed that he would have to put on a suit after he had planned to spend the day lounging in his robe.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m going out to meet an acquaintance for tea.”

“Hmm an acquaintance,” Ambrose said, a suggestive tone in his voice, “a bit early in the morning to be meeting an acquaintance if you ask me.” Zelda raised her eyebrows.

“Ambrose…“ Hilda admonished him, setting down a plate of french toast on the table. “We will be happy to take care of things here, won’t we Ambrose?” she said, shooting him a glare that told him to shut it.

“Of course Auntie.” he said, sipping his tea. Hilda joined them at the table.

“So Zelds,” Hilda asked, setting her head in her hands like a schoolgirl inquiring about a crush, “who are you off to meet?”

“A woman I met at the farmer’s market. She bumped into and knocked over my basket and asked me over for tea as an apology for inconveniencing me.”

“Sounds like it’s turning out to be more of a convenience to me.” Hilda teased.

“Good old smash and dash.” Ambrose mumbled.

“Honestly, you two are like children. I’m going there for tea and nothing else.” Zelda said, standing up from the table, annoyed at her family’s immaturity. She wasn’t really even sure why she was going to meet the woman, if she was being honest with herself. All she knew was that the woman intrigued her. “I’m off. And I expect everything to be in order when I return.”

She quickly grabbed her coat and the car keys and headed out the door, closing it with a loud slam.

The second she had left, Hilda and Ambrose shared a look and burst into laughter.

* * *

Zelda arrived at Diana’s apartment eleven minutes before 10:00. It was a cold, gloomy morning outside, typical for Greendale. The wind blew the last of the dead winter leaves down the sidewalk, the trees outside beginning to grow new ones as the first signs of spring were starting to show. Zelda loved the springtime. A symbolic rebirth, a reminder of the power of nature to renew and regrow. She lit a cigarette to pass the time and calm her nerves, though she would never admit to the latter. It had been a while since Zelda had done anything like this; she wasn’t even sure if the woman was interested in her, or simply wanted a friend. Back in her academy days, she was wild and rebellious, ‘smashing and dashing’ with both men and women as she pleased. But those days were long gone. With growing responsibilities came growing maturity, and every once in a while Zelda secretly found herself wanting to let all of it go and run wild again. Yet, like the trees that she loved so dearly, she had shed her old leaves and begun to grow new ones.

When she knocked on the door, Diana opened it with a bright smile. Zelda quickly scanned her up and down. She wore a light blue chiffon blouse tucked into a pair of jeans with a pair of ballet flats. She looked much more plain than Zelda, but Zelda couldn’t help but think the woman was beautiful. Her blonde hair sat perfectly in shoulder length waves, and she wore a bright red lip that was perfectly suited to her.

“Hi.” Diana said.

“Hi.” Zelda replied, standing there as the other woman looked her up and down just as she had done. Diana wondered if the woman was always this dressed up.

“Please come in,” Diana said, opening the door all the way to let Zelda through, “I wasn’t sure if you had eaten, so I set out some fresh fruit on the table just in case. Here, I can take your things.”

Zelda handed over her coat and handbag to Diana, taking a moment to look around as Diana hung up her things on a hook by the door. Her apartment was small, but well decorated. A small kitchen and dining area to the left and a sitting area to the right with two chairs and a couch, a coffee table separating them. There were two doors in the back that Zelda assumed could only lead to a bedroom and a bathroom. On the table was a teapot, two mugs, and a tray of strawberries and grapes.

“That’s very kind of you, thank you.” Zelda said.

“Of course,” Diana turned around and smiled at her after she had hung up her things, “please, make yourself at home.” Zelda moved and sat down on the couch and Diana sat across from her in a chair. The couch was covered in a soft green velvet, much more comfortable than the one in the parlor at the mortuary. Zelda sat with her legs crossed and her arm stretched over the back of the couch, finding it very easy to make herself at home. Diana bent over and began pouring tea into the mugs, Zelda watching her carefully.

“I want to apologize again for the other day, I’m—”

“Don’t be sorry,” Zelda cut her off, “if you hadn’t bumped into me, I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of being in your company right now, would I?” Zelda reached down to grab her mug, with just a slight smirk on her face.

“I guess not.” Diana smiled back at her.

“So, Miss Sawyer—”

“Please, you can call me Diana.”

“So, Diana,” Zelda paused to take a sip of her tea, “how do you make a living here in Greendale?” 

“I’m a lawyer. I work at the firm just down the street.”

“And your family?”

“My father was from Greendale, a lawyer too. He passed a while back, but my mother lives with her side of the family upstate now.” 

“Mm, a family business, being a lawyer?”

“Well, not exactly. My mother was always a housewife. She didn’t approve of me going to law school, thought I should find a man and settle down. But I thought that was all rather misogynistic and old, so I moved out and started making my own path. I’m definitely one to argue, and after spending so much time being around my father while he worked on cases, being a lawyer just seemed right.”

“An independent woman making her own way in the world. I can certainly respect that. It seems that you and I have a lot more in common than I thought we would.” Zelda paused to pick up a few grapes from the tray. “I’d love to see you in action in the courtroom sometime.” she said, popping a grape in her mouth.

“Believe me, I might not look it, but I don’t take any shit.” Diana said with a smile. And at that, Zelda let out a small laugh. The woman was soft and sweet and kind, everything Zelda wasn’t, yet confident and bold. Zelda found herself actually wanting to spend time with the woman, getting to know her better. 

They chatted for the next hour and a half. Diana shared some stories of law school, but their time was mostly spent with Zelda sharing stories of her travels around the world. Zelda would have much preferred to listen to Diana speak, but Diana listened to her so intently with such a look of fascination and admiration on her face that Zelda didn't want to stop talking. Zelda got the impression that the woman had hardly ever traveled beyond Greendale, with the exception of law school. Zelda actually found it refreshing to talk to someone outside of the witching world, even with someone outside of her own family, for that matter. She had known everyone at the academy for ages, and after a couple of centuries of knowing someone there is only so much you can talk about. She was lost in some story about her time in Paris when she glanced up at a clock on the wall.

“Heavens,” Zelda said, “it’s nearly noon.” Zelda could barely believe that they had been talking for so long. “Well,” she said, “I must be going. I need to head home to check up on my sister and my nephew, who knows what they could’ve gotten up to while I was gone.”

“Of course.” Diana said, smiling softly at Zelda, looking a little sad that their morning was coming to an end. Zelda left her spot on the couch and walked over to grab her coat and purse.

“Wait,” Diana said, “let me walk you out.” Zelda put on her coat as Diana opened the door for her and they both proceeded to step outside into the cool air. Diana shut the door behind her and leaned back against it.

“You know, you’ve only been gone for a couple of hours, I don’t think your sister and nephew could really have gotten into anything that bad.” Zelda raised her eyebrows and reached into her coat pocket to pull out her cigarette holder. She leaned against the iron railing on the steps that led up to Diana’s door.

“You would be surprised.” she said, about to light a cigarette. “Do you mind?” she asked, gesturing to the lighter in her hand. She always carried one in case mortals were around and she couldn’t light a cigarette herself.

“No.” Diana said. She lingered by the door, as if she didn’t want Zelda to leave. “You’ll have to come back sometime to finish telling me about Paris.” she said with a smile, and if Zelda wasn’t imagining things, a small bite to her bottom lip.

“Mm,” Zelda hummed in agreement as she exhaled a plume of smoke, “I would like that.” 

“Perhaps I can call you tomorrow?” Diana asked shyly.

“And I would love that.” Zelda said with a smirk. She had barely smoked any of her cigarette, but she stubbed it out on the railing. Diana watched her carefully.

“You really shouldn’t do that you know, smoke. It’s horrible for you.” Diana said. Zelda just shrugged her shoulders, once again taken slightly aback at the other woman’s forwardness. Zelda wished to tell her that smoking didn’t affect witches the way it affected mortals, but for obvious reasons, she couldn’t.

“We all have our ways of coping.” she said instead, a true statement nonetheless. Diana looked Zelda up and down, wondering what kind of baggage this wonderfully strange woman must carry. Diana took a nervous step forward and reached her out her hand, grabbing Zelda’s own. Zelda could tell the woman was ever so slightly trembling. She stared into Diana’s eyes for a moment, finding nothing but empathy staring back at her behind a background of blue. Zelda cleared her throat and took back her hand.

“Goodbye, Diana.” she said with a soft smile.

“Goodbye, Zelda.” Diana said, then watched Zelda walk down the steps and into the street before turning to head back inside. Zelda’s voice stopped her.

“And Diana.” Zelda called out. Diana turned around in the doorway to look at her. “I’ll be expecting your call.” she said with her signature smirk before walking away. When Diana stepped back inside her apartment and closed the door, she caught her reflection in a mirror on the wall. She was most definitely blushing.

* * *

  
As Zelda lied in bed that night, she once again found herself unable to take her mind off of Diana. She chastised herself for seeking out the woman’s attention, and then chastised herself again for letting her thoughts dwell on their encounter. The woman’s hands were soft and her eyes were kind; Zelda imagined what it must be like to have her for her own — to caress her face, hold her hips, press her own lips up against hers. _What was she thinking?_ The woman was a mortal; nothing good could come of close relationships between witches and mortals. And yet, her last thoughts before drifting off to sleep were of what it would be like to take Diana to Paris.


End file.
